Modern Computer Game Lingo

I thought I'd do some translation of modern computer game lingo for you.

No Hand-holding - Developers are too lazy or cheap to write a user guide or tutorial level.

Survival Game - Developers have no talent for writing plot, dialogue or characters.

Online Multiplayer Survival Game - Game for sociopaths.

Kickstarter - Pay upfront for a project that promises the Earth but will eventually only deliver Mars. Well maybe half... of a Mars bar.

Dark Souls Style - Pseudo RPG that's only redeeming feature is that it is not easy.

AAA - Publishers are cunts.

Indie - Developers are cunts.

Early Access - We didn't milk enough people with our Kickstarter campaign so we are going to get some suckers to pay to test it.

Pre-Order - Order a game before it is released. Something everyone does while claiming not to.

Pixel Art - Developer not old enough to remember when graphics were shit so thinks they are being delightfully retro.

Walking Simulator - A computer game with no game play.

Old School - Rose tinted recreation of aged game mechanic that only existed originally because of technical limitations.

Problomatic - Any game that is even remotely fun in any way.

Consumer Rights - ???


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UK

I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad.