Captain Kibble's Fantastic Chili

Here is my "perfected" Chili Recipe. I would say it's medium heat but some might find it hot. It's not cheap because of the sirloin but poorer people can substitute minced beef.

It serves 2 fatties or 4 normal people. I'll get 3 meals out of it so I'm somewhere in between.


  • 500g of sirloin steak, diced
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 jar of chopped tomatoes
  • 1 (400g) tin kidney beans, drained
  • 1 (400g) tin cannellini beans, drained
  • 1/2 tablespoon chilli powder
  • 1/2 tablespoon paprika
  • 1/2 tablespoon cayenne
  • 1/2 tablespoon cumin
  • 1/2 tablespoon of jalapeno powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried parsley
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
  • 3/4 teaspoon dried oregano
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon of brown sugar
  • 1 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce
  • 1/2 bottle of beer (cook's choice!)
  • handful of chopped jalapeno peppers
  • 2 teaspoons of Bisto

Serving Ingredients

  • Sour Cream
  • Guacamole
  • Grated mature cheddar
  • Crusty Bread


Place the meat in a frying pan over medium heat, and cook until evenly brown. Drain fat.

Place the meat in a slow cooker, and mix in remaining ingredients. Not Bisto yet, obviously. I like to leave it overnight.

Cover, and cook 8 hours in slow cooker, on low. In the last 30 mins mix Bisto with some water until creamy. Stir mixture into chili and finish cooking. This should thicken it nicely.

Put in deep sided bowl and add a layer of the cheese and slip under grill to melt. Serve with crusty bread, sour cream, guacamole.


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I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad.